Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
