Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
