my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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