I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
