Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
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I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
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Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I supernannyed him into submission
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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