the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
