I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
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