So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
