I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
