you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
