dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
