..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
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She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
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Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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