I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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