Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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