Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I'm bleeding and have questions
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
