I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize