O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
