Soap is not a condiment
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Randomize
