How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
