I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
