I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
