I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
