she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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