lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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