i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
