i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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