i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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