my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
