Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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