she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
