I smell stomach acid.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
