You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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