He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Are we still banned from the library?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
