yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Randomize
