If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize