and you said cock pushups were impossible
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
