I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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