so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
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What a dumb baby whore.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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