Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize
