Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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