oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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