my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
