actually, I'm a sock model
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Randomize
