Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
