Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
