Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
