does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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