And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
