oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
