You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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