You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Randomize
