Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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