my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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