I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
