if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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