So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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