Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
