Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Shame is for Republicans.
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