Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
