So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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