so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
