He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
