im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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