And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
