So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize