just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
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He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
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Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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