don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Randomize